momo

i don't really know where to start on this post. i actually don't even want to write it. but i do. no, i don't. but i need to, so here we go…

on monday, august 15 when i blogged here about her health, we were hopeful that the medication would kick in and start to work. right before i wrote that blog, i sat down with her on the kitchen floor and tried to give her her medicine, but she refused everything i offered her. she even let a pill just sit in the back of her throat without trying to swallow it. i sat with her for a while and talked to her. i told her to tell me when enough is enough and that she needed to let me know when she was ready. i gave her a kiss, went into the living room and proceeded to write that blog. ironically, while i was blogging, or shortly after, she died. ant went into the kitchen and i asked him to check on her and he said she was gone. to say we were shocked doesn't really describe it. 3 hours earlier, the vet told us that she had high hopes for her recovery and that this was just a "hump" we had to get over. well, it was a different hump than we had expected, that's for sure.

momo, i miss you. you were the greatest dog a person could ask for. just ask anyone who ever met you. everyone wanted to take you home cause you were so awesome. one time at a garage sale some lady asked me if she could buy you. i laughed in her face and told her she would have to kill me first. she laughed, but i was serious.

i miss your stinky breath.
i miss giving you hair cuts (even though we both hated it).
i miss fighting with you to cut your nails.
i miss you pestering me every second of every day (and night) to throw your ball.
i miss telling you "i can't reach it" and watching you get so frustrated cause you knew i could.
i miss watching you play with amelie. you were so good to her, even though you never did care for kids too much. you knew she was special to us.
i miss cleaning your gross ears.
i miss yelling at you to stop licking your butt.
i miss your high pitch bark every time we clapped or vaccuumed.
i miss watching you chase your tail and laughing until it hurt.
i miss torturing you with moonboots and sweaters.
i miss your mohawk.
i miss taking you for walks.
i miss tripping over you.
i miss taking you outside.
i miss the bruises on my shins from your head cause you couldn't see me your last months here.
i miss the yelping.
i miss shoving you out of the way in bed cause i couldn't move my feet under the covers.
i miss tapping my foot on the floor to show you where food had fallen so you could get it.
i miss watching you run your heart out to catch your ball.
i miss forcing you to cuddle with me. you would lay your head on my shoulder for 10 seconds to appease me and then pop up to go find your ball.
i miss watching you box with yeager.
i miss watching you get so frustrated when tucker would pester you. i know you guys are playing together now.
i even miss stepping in poop outside.
and most of all, i just miss having you on the floor next to me. you always had to be in the same room.

you were exceptional. incredibly smart with so much energy. you could learn a new trick in a matter of minutes and remember it forever. you understood every word i said and i swore one day you were going to talk back to me. i like to think i was your best friend, but i know you liked your ball better than me. it's ok.

you were there with me through college, 9 jobs, 7 moves and 3 cities. you comforted me through break-ups and laid with me when i was sick. you were even by my side when i married the man who adopted you as his own (i even made him an adoption certificate to make it official). you went everywhere with me and you were always on your best behavior. we had a good 12 years together, i'd say.

i always knew you leaving would be hard, but i had no idea it would be this hard. i keep waiting for you to come around the corner or scratch on the door to come back in from outside. but, i know you aren't suffering anymore. i know you can see so clearly now. i know you'll never have another ear infection or itchy skin problem. and i know i'll see you again. and i can't wait.

love,
mama