As you also might know, she hasn't been doing well for quite some time now. She has had a heart murmur that gets worse every time we take her to the vet. Within the past couple of months, she has been breathing very heavy and fast and her belly got bloated. Her hair is growing in patches and we have to carry her up and down the stairs to take her out now.
Last week I was out of town and got a voicemail from Ant saying that Mo wasn't doing well at all and that she had had an "episode" when she came back in from going outside. She was wobbly and disoriented and couldn't stand or walk. We decided that we would just keep an eye on her and take her to the vet when I got back if she was still struggling. When I got home on Saturday, she seemed ok. Not good, just ok. Until today. She was pooping this gooey pumpkin grossness, wasn't eating well, seemed very uncomfortable and breathing very heavy. I took her outside when Ant went to class and she made a huge mess on herself so I decided to give her a bath (crying the entire time). Usually when I clip her nails she fights me, but not today. She just sat there. Usually she shakes like crazy and rolls all over the place like a crazy dog when she is wet, but not today. She laid down on the floor and didn't move for about 2 hours. Ant got home from class, took one look at her and said, let's take her now.
I was a mess. I just knew this was it. I just kept praying that she wouldn't be suffering. I wasn't ready, but I hate seeing her like this. Then again, are we ever ready to say goodbye to our first baby?
We got to the vet and they rushed us back, seeing how in distress she was. I cried some more. They came back with a list of tests and procedures they wanted to to, which added up to $360 that we just don't have right now. The vet tech told us about a credit program that we could apply for that we wouldn't have to pay interest on for at least a year. So we made the decision to do that and go for it. (The grand total ended up being $411… ouch.)
The prognosis was that she has heart failure in her right side and possibly some in her left. This is causing her organs to not quite function properly, leading to fluid build-up, which leads to shortness of breath and pressure on the lungs. The doctor compared it to being really pregnant and having so much pressure on your lungs that you just can't get a deep enough breath. They had oxygen on her and they drained a lot of fluid out of her belly. They started her on a med called Lasiks (sp?), which is a diuretic, to make her pee more fluid out. We also got 2 other meds for her heart that she will have to be on for the remainder of her life.
I was incredibly thankful for this "good" outcome. I actually didn't even think we would be coming home with her, so when I say good, I mean, still here. Since we've been home, she hasn't been much better. We are supposed to monitor her breathing and call the doc in the morning to let her know how she's doing. Tonight when I took her out, I had to wipe her butt (sorry, I know it's super gross) and I was wiping blood. I was shocked to see it and I have no idea what's causing it, but I will definitely be asking the doc about that in the morning. She still seems uncomfortable and is still breathing really fast and hard. She won't even eat vanilla yogurt with her meds in it like she always used to. She just turns her nose up to it.
Again, I just keep praying for God to tell us when enough is enough. It's so hard to see her like this. Sorry this is such a long and sad post. Please pray for us as we make these tough decisions and try to find a way to make these new payments. Please pray that MoMo would go in peace and not suffer at all.
Good night.
k-
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