heartache

I got some bad news last week and haven't really felt like writing about it until now. It's hard to put into words how sad this makes me, but here goes:

As most of you know, I have been sponsoring a little girl in Sierra Leone since I met her in 2006. Her name is Amie and she was 10 or 11 years old at the time. For some unknown reason she took a liking to me and stuck by my side during that first trip. And when I went back in 2007, it was like no time had passed. She was my little side-kick — always there, but so timid, meek and quiet. She doesn't speak english and pretends not to understand it, but I think she understands much more than she leads on! (when i tell her that, she just smiles and laughs so I know it's true!) One day she took me into her hut and pulled out all of the letters and pictures I had sent her over the past year. She was so proud and everything was still in mint shape, like she treasured them dearly. I was brought to tears knowing that I had touched someone's life like that.













She has the most beautiful smile and the best laugh that is contagious. She is sprouting into a beautiful teenager and is now 13(ish… noone is ever really sure how old they are over there).

Last week I was so excited to come home from spending the weekend in Orlando. About 5 minutes after walking in the door, Ant says, "Did you see that letter from COTN? (that's the organization that we sponsor through) If not, I think you should read it." I got really excited and thought it was a letter from Amie. Well, it turns out it was from someone at COTN corporate:

"… The purpose of this letter is to update and inform you that your sponsored child, Amie Ellie, recently became pregnant and is currently not attending school. Amie is receiving medical and social care services through our program. Once she gives birth and is done nursing her baby, she plans to return to school. Your funds will continue to support her needs and the village programs and school she attends.

We would ask you to join us in continuing to pray for her and her baby's future. It is our sincere desire that all children in our programs would continue to grow and mature in their understanding and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ…"

Needless to say my heart fell on the floor and tears welled up in my eyes. I immediately thought the worst possible thoughts: could it have been RAPE? defeat by controlling men in the village? Or did she run off with a boy and bring this upon herself? And then a stream of horrific thoughts followed randomly: secret societies, female circumcision, I bet she's scared; fear, shame, embarrassment, regret, rejection, etc, etc, etc… Does she have a future? Will she really go back to school? Hopefully, but most-likely not (based on what I saw when I was there).

She wanted to be a nurse.

UGH.
I am
SO.
SAD.

my heart is physically aching for her.

All I want to do is talk to her, pray with her, hug her, reassure her that everything is going to be ok… you get the gist. But I can't. It's such a helpless feeling. Wanting to be there for someone so incredibly bad, but you can't. All I can do is ask God to fill that void that she might be experiencing. I pray that she is turning to Him and trusting that He will provide.

How ironic that my 'little girl' and I are both going to be moms soon. Never in a lifetime would I have thought she would be the one to go through this.

I'm still trying to get more info from my friend in SL, but I don't know how much he'll be able to tell me. If you would like to write Amie a little note, I am going to be sending her a letter soon and I know it would be really inspiring to hear from some of my friends and family. Please pray for her and her baby… it is a rough culture over there… no telling what she's going through.