perfection

k:
so, i used to keep a blog on my myspace page. I went back a read a few and thought I would share some older posts that I made. I wrote this one on Sept 12... a couple weeks after the wedding and honeymoon.

what is perfection, exactly?

i always thought to myself that something perfect is when i (selfishly) see it flawless. that there would be nothing 'I' would change about something. God has been teaching me a lesson the last couple weeks, though. He has changed my view of what actual 'perfection' is and i see it so clearly now. let me explain:

Nine months of planning a wedding can really do a number on a human being. especially when you're not the best planner in the world. but you get sucked in and just take off with it. not to mention the fact that, being a girl, i've had visions of my wedding day since i was a wee one. so, you plan to make things 'perfect'. (sidenote: if you want a 'perfect' wedding day, don't plan it in hurricane season in fl) even the smallest details get ingrained in your head and you just figure everything will go accordingly. well, i knew that we were planning our outside wedding in rainy season, but i was just positive that God wouldn't let it rain on our wedding day. i watched the weather like a hawk and i took a sigh of relief when Faye left, thinking the bad weather was over.

it started to rain at 11am. i was so calm... 'let it rain' i said... 'it will be over by 5 at the latest and we'll be fine.' HA! it definitely rained all day. the ground was mushy, there was big hair everywhere (except mine somehow), people were running late and they come to me and say, 'katie, you have to make the call... in or out?' so, me, being the only positive one, says 'it'll stop. it's outside.' no questions. people just looked at me like i was crazy. i started to get bummed cause then i was realizing that it might not stop, but i just kept talking to God saying, 'Lord, i know you have a plan for this day... do what you will' And even though i knew that He would make it best for us, it's still natural to be upset about something that is not going 'perfectly', the way you had planned it since you were 6. five minutes till and my dad comes up to me and says, 'it stopped for a little bit... we're going to do it outside!' so, all through the ceremony, God put an invisible tarp over our heads so we could get married in the midst of his creation. we were outside. by a lake. standing in puddles of water. barefoot (like i had dreamed). it continued to drizzle over the lake behind us, but kept it's distance for the rest of the night. amazing. and even though everything was chaotic and rushed and the reception was inside, not out, it was awesome. family and friends are all i could have asked for, and they thought it was 'perfect'. (ok, maybe with a few flaws)

so, we leave for our honeymoon on sunday. a cruise to the eastern carribean... yay! but we see Hannah in our path. as soon as we get on the boat, our captain announces that we will be missing our first port stop because we have to steer around Hannah. ok, we'll just make the best of it! so, we did. we were optimistic that Hannah would pass over and then the rest of our trip would be fantastic. well, if you call rocking on the ship for 7 days fantastic, then you're weird, but we did it. the other 2 ports were great, even though Ant was so generous to accidentally give his wedding band to the waves of st. maarten. (that was a struggle in itself) and there were flaws that have turned into stories. ones of laughter, ones of tears, ones of grief.

but, was it 'perfect'?

YES! it was perfect because that's how God intended it. He made it rain for reasons unknown. he put us through a hurricane for reasons that He might not ever reveal to us. and He put the chaos there because He wanted to. it's all to remind us of our humility and faith. and everything He does ISN'T for OUR 'perfection'. it's for HIS and only His. He will do what He sees fit for us, even though we may never know his ultimate goal. that's why He's PERFECT. He always is. And so now, i smile when i think of the rain and the chaos. i smile when i tell the story of Ant losing his ring. i smile when i tell people that it drizzled over the lake while we said our vows. it's all things that are out of our control. so why fret? HE will make it 'perfect' for us, no matter what... we just have to know that His perfection is different than ours, but SO much better in the end!